Luke 23:48

luke 23:48 And all the crowds who came together for this spectacle, when they observed what had happened, began to return, beating their breasts. (greiving, mourning)

True and deep conversion must have its origin in a deep understanding of the cross, the horror of God's judgement on sin,
"the crowds" this is not the apostle John and 'the women', this is "the crowds" some of whom will carry this burden, till the day when Peter and the 11 stand up and proclaim Jesus, some of these are the ones who will have their hearts PIERCED and CRY OUT, "brethren what then shall we do ?"... this then is the very cry of true and deep conversion... not a hand barely raised in the back of a building with every eye closed to avoid giving the person any "embarrasment"
EMBARASSMENT???!!! God of very God has died for you, suffered for you, your sin, YOUR SIN, true and deep conversion is PIERCED and cries out... "I see it, I SEE IT, my sin caused that, now what must I do to be saved??"

On a personal note i feel more and more lately like a pathetic guitar student sitting at the feet of a master guitarist who plays a beautiful set of chords and then says "Ok now you do it" and I pluck out a screeching, squaking, pale imitation and hang my head wondering if ever my guitar, my life, will sound like HIS... But that is why I carefully chose the name for this blog "victim of relentless affection" a victim has something "done to him, in him" by an outside force, this grace is my hope, this grace is my only hope.

It annoys my spirit to have my kids sitting in church and hear from the speaker, "a clean vehicle is a good witness for God"... are they hearing that, are they thinking, dad doesn't seem to care too much about that?... i pray that they aren't, that God protects their ears from such asinine comments that in my many readings of the Bible i have never ever seen, would john the baptist have had a 'clean machine' or would the pharisee so very very concerned with the outside of the cup been the one more likely to have a 'clean machine' should Jesus have rode into Jerusalem on a nice white stallion, instead of a lowly donkey... oh ... i groan inwardly and will one day groan outwardly!!